Saturday, March 17, 2012

Hit the Road, Jack!

Here's what passes for plain speaking in the US media. It comes from CNN's Jack Cafferty, 13/3/12:

"How much is enough? The US has been in Afghanistan for more than 10 years. President Obama insists we will remain in Afghanistan until the end of 2014. Why? What's going to be accomplished by staying in that godforsaken hellhole for another 20 months that hasn't been accomplished in 10 and a half years?"

Yes, I agree, Jack. Get out of Afghanistan NOW! But what's this godforsaken hellhole business? Has CNN and the rest of the corporate media pack played no role in helping Bushama turn Afghanistan into a GFH? Jack? Oh, I see, you've got SFA to say about that. And anyway, if Afghanistan's a godforsaken hellhole, maybe it's because the Great Satan's taken up residence there, what do you think?

"Events are beginning to conspire against the US mission there. We had pictures of US marines urinating on dead bodies. We had the accidental burning of the copies of the Koran which further inflamed the hatred of the American presence there. And now we have the US soldier allegedly massacring 16 Afghan civilians, including women and children."

I understand. It's not the US "mission" that's been screwing Afghanistan and its people, it's "events" that have been screwing the US "mission." Right. Damn events! And shouldn't that have been accidentally or allegedly urinating on dead bodies?

"The Taliban are threatening to begin beheading US soldiers in response to this latest outrage, yet the Obama Whitehouse is out with the statement insisting that none of this will deter us from our mission. Which is what exactly? I have no idea what the hell we're still doing there anymore. Isn't Osama Bin Laden dead? The Karzai government is a puppet regime barely friendly to our government and the rest of the country hates our guts not unlike how we might feel if an army of occupation had taken up residence here in the US and begun desecrating our dead, burning our Bibles, and massacring our women and children."

At last, an insight! But why not call a spade a spade, Jack? What's this mission crap? What we've got over in Afghanistan ain't no mission! It's a regular, jackbooted army of occupation! And as such it's generated a stiff resistance, aka the Taliban. Face it, Jack, the Taliban's an own goal. But what's that you're telling me? Oh I see, you don't want to upset the viewers.

"Not to be cynical, but it's my nature. The one thing is if President Obama's election campaign is in trouble by Labor Day, suddenly, with a second term in doubt, my guess is he might decide to move up the timetable for bringing our troops home. Hey, whatever it takes. I don't know about you. I've had a bellyfull of Afghanistan."

And you know what, Jack? Afghanistan's had more than a bellyfull of your bullets, your drones and your colossal yankee arrogance.

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